This entry is more about me than Aidan, I guess.
Tomorrow is his surgery and I couldn’t be more nervous. I am feeling sick to my stomach. This morning one of the ladies from the surgery center called to go over some details and give me info that I’ll need. As she was telling me about the process, I started to get teary-eyed. I don’t even want to think about my baby being sedated and out of it. I don’t want to think about him being under the knife. I don’t want to think about the fact that he could have a reaction to the anesthesia because I just don’t know if he’s allergic to anything. I mean, how do you test to see if you’re allergic to anesthesia?? Take it and hope you wake up??
He’s having hypospadias repair. I thought it was called hyperspadias repair. Apparently the recovery time is fairly short, and the amount of time he’ll be in pain is even shorter: approximately 2 days and he’ll be back to relying on Tylenol to ease the pain.
I am supposed to be going to work Saturday morning, but I may tell them I’d like to have the day off so I can be with him in his crucial part of his recovery. That, and it will be of great help to have both of us with him. Mike won’t lose his sanity if Aidan is a crying mess.
We are driving up to Knoxville tonight to stay at my mom’s house since we have to be there at 6:30am. We’re going to go to Target to shop a little to kind of ease into the night. I’m shaking as I type. And I feel like throwing up.
I need something for my anxiety. Not a cigarette. I must stop what I’ve started again.